Well, it's been a long time coming, and I wanted to get this nonsense out right at the beginning, but I finally just said "Screw you guys, I'm throwing this out there myself." So, I figured I would give you guys the full explanation, in case anyone is interested.
well theres things there that were good to clear up, not that it's perhaps too much fun for you to *have* to share all that stuff and it most likely just spawns a whole new interesting line of harassment
I never knew this about you, I always thought/assumed you were born a female and had no reason to think otherwise. I know that this is MUCH easier said than done but try to ignore what the narrowminded say. People are always going to have opinions but their opinions mean squat 99% of the time.
I had a friend back in High School who started self harming, she was afraid of what her friends would think of her when they found out she was a lesbian. I know that this is completely different to what you are going through however talking to her helped her realise that there was nothing to worry about and after a while she stopped.
Try building up a tightknit group of friends you can talk to, either online or in person, and when you feel these urges call on one of them for a chat, I can guarantee that you will feel at least a little bit better after talking through the problem. Little by little your friends will help you to see that the world is not full of pig ignorant scum as it currently appears to be.
I know that this is only a small fraction of your problems but please try not to let this part take a firm grip of your life or it will start to destroy you.
If you want to talk about anything PM me and we can exchange contact information. I am a great listener and I don't judge people.
Everyone is entitled to a private life, that's why it's called a private life, and it is entirely up to you to live it anyway you want.
I searched for "daily click" to find it. I'm trying to remember your old username. Was it "horrendousgames?" Ah yes here it is: http://www.create-games.com/profile.asp?id=31456 I'm pretty sure. If I recall I might have even accused you of being a fake account due to a ip address match.
Anyway your graphic style was the same.
I really don't care whether the user is male or female. If the game is well done I'll say so. If there is something that needs improving I'll mention it.
Really I like to receive c&c so I figure it might help someone else too.
It's just someone's opinion at the end of the day though, and isn't really a personal attack.
Ironically, I specifically changed my graphical style when I changed users. As Chloe I always did straight pixel art, while under HG I was doing more painterly, splotchy art and animated using polymorphic tweening.
What really gets me about her story is that she got her surgery, and then died of lung cancer. You have to find something to enjoy every single day. Make time for it, and make it happen. It doesn't have to be big, but don't waste a single day waiting for the good times.
Send me feedback on my latest game, It Never Ends.
The parallels are uncanny...I can't believe I hadn't remembered about Dani's story. MULE is still one of my favourite games, and I remember reading her life story and details of her time as a developer.
Thanks for the memories, Chris! And Chloe, I totally agree with everything Chris has mentioned.
Heh, I knew it from the first few days you were here. Never really cared about the truth or who you pretended to be. I did feel sorry when people when they were picking on HG, but wasn't my business. I think you'll find that most people don't care that much about how you physically are, and you can ignore all those who do.
What does matter is the 'chloe' you show yourself as. Go back to being that old carefree, overconfident, snarky old Chloe. Not the deceptive, bitter, depressed one today. Charisma is all about confidence. You had that when you were hiding behind an Internet persona, and that was sexy. You've let this bitter, desperate version seep into who you are.
Disclaimer: Any sarcasm in my posts will not be mentioned as that would ruin the purpose. It is assumed that the reader is intelligent enough to tell the difference between what is sarcasm and what is not.
I just wanted to throw in my support too, not that it'll make a difference. I'm sorry about all the things you've had to deal with as a result of something that's not even your "fault". Nobody should be punished for how they were born. I'm also sorry you felt compelled to open up so much about your personal life (as others have pointed out there's a reason it's called a private). The world is apparently a cruel place.
I'm not much involved in the scene and such but I have asked you a couple of questions on Youtube (I'm known as Bodoron there) and you were nothing but kind and helpful.
So yeah - just wanted to let you know there's 1 more person in me that has no problem with you, and see now reason to have.
I'm holding up okay stimor, it's been exhausting, just working as hard as I can to stuff and junk.
When it comes to people like Dani speaking out against surgery, it's unfortunate. There is a reason why you need to be absolutely certain about everything before even considering SRS. It seems as if she just did it on a whim, going from just dressing occasionally to just changing completely, and that's far from my experience. The surgery has come a long way since then, 80% is a ridiculously high chance of non functioning SRS. Her other problems with SRS are purely social and financial. She makes the mistake of blaming herself and her surgery for their issues. It's no her fault that her friends and family are jerks, it's their fault.
Plus, SRS is not on the table for me at the moment. I am seeking other surgeries, and not even considering that is said and done.
As far as enjoying my life, I am doing the best I can. For some reason, people keep assuming that I just sit around and sulk all day. I get moody, and I am reclusive, but for the most part, I like my alone time. I've been very active in trying to change my situation, I'm still going to school (next semester starts next month).
Originally Posted by Muz Heh, I knew it from the first few days you were here. Never really cared about the truth or who you pretended to be. I did feel sorry when people when they were picking on HG, but wasn't my business. I think you'll find that most people don't care that much about how you physically are, and you can ignore all those who do.
What does matter is the 'chloe' you show yourself as. Go back to being that old carefree, overconfident, snarky old Chloe. Not the deceptive, bitter, depressed one today. Charisma is all about confidence. You had that when you were hiding behind an Internet persona, and that was sexy. You've let this bitter, desperate version seep into who you are.
It wasn't that I was trying to deceive anyone, please, don't put that into your thoughts, that's very far from the truth. I panicked several times, and did stupid reactionary things. I wasn't trying to 'trick people', I was trying to hide. I don't think I'm bitter either, more jaded if at all.
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Edited by Stimor
