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Posted By
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This thread has been locked by an administrator
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Jon Chambers
Registered
25/08/2002
Points
1071
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29th January, 2004 at 18:14:18 -
I am aware that you guys think this is crap, but I'm trying again anyway. Please don't bother to tell me how crap it is, I already know. If you all ignore this post, it will move to the bottom of the list. If this post goes onto page 2 of the Boards, I promise that I'll delete this post myself, and never try again. I'll even give up on subjects which involve a girl. Until that happens, I'll keep coming back. If you lock me, I'll re-post. If you delete me, I'll repost. The only way to get rid of me, is to let me fall off the bottom of the page. I also promise not to double post, as a way of keeping this post active. I will only post when I'm not the last person to post. When I first came to this site, it was yellow. When I first made a game, I was in primary school. Now I'm in university. I'm pretty sure I deserve to post this here. Okay?
Once more, if this post falls below the bottom of the page 1, I'll delete it. I promise.
Now, for those few people who either havn't seen the last post, or don't already hate this, this post is for people who would like to complain about girls, advise about the handling of girls, tell stories about girls, debate about lonlyness vs. having a girlfriend, or anything else you involving girls.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
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Gaspy Conana
Registered
12/10/2003
Points
571
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29th January, 2004 at 18:24:33 -
Boy-Oh-Boy, this post sure is crap.
http://www.digitalwasteland.net
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Jon Chambers
Registered
25/08/2002
Points
1071
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29th January, 2004 at 18:28:28 -
You do realize that that small contribution kept it alive don't you? You're keeping a crap post alive you realize. Let it die, and not only will I delete this post, I will post an apology for wasting your time. Until that time comes, I don't believe that it is a crap post, and no amount of being told that this post is crap will change my mind.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
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Hamish M
Registered
22/01/2004
Points
521
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29th January, 2004 at 18:36:32 -
This post is fire-trucking crap
Censored by ShadowCaster¿
n/a
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Dogzer
Registered
07/02/2011
Points
1029
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29th January, 2004 at 18:47:17 -
CIRCY YOU HATE GIRLS BLOCK THIS THREAD LIKE YOU DID WITH MINE
n/a
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Chamzel
Registered
02/07/2002
Points
352
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29th January, 2004 at 18:53:03 -
Jon, some times you need to give a little if you want to get a little, if you know what I mean.
...And I'm not talking about women! =O
CRUSH!!
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Jon Chambers
Registered
25/08/2002
Points
1071
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29th January, 2004 at 19:03:55 -
What should I give exactly?
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
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Mr Icekirby
Registered
18/12/2003
Points
846
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29th January, 2004 at 20:10:28 -
this was a dumb post... you say you've tryed this post thing before?
Mr Icekirby says so!
OBEY ME!
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Chamzel
Registered
02/07/2002
Points
352
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29th January, 2004 at 21:08:39 -
If you want girl stories, give girl stories first. Set the real mood rather than let people set the assumed mood.
CRUSH!!
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Jon Chambers
Registered
25/08/2002
Points
1071
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29th January, 2004 at 21:25:06 -
Deal, okay I'll begin the cramped leg story. (Actually, I've really just copied and pasted it from Word. I wrote it all down one day, trying to get it into a magazine.)
Okay, the following is a true story. I know what you’re thinking. True stories are never funny. Well, I know it’s a long read, but it’s well worth it. I promise.
Anyway, like I said, this is a true story. I don’t expect you to believe me. I have a hard time believing it myself. Though, the fact is, it really did happen. I know this for sure, as I was there. It was my fault it happened. Though, as much as I regretted it at the time, if I had that day over, I’d do it all again, just because it was a really cool story.
Okay, imagine a gorilla. If you’re not sure what a gorilla looks like, find a picture of one. Now, imagine shaving that gorilla. Then imagine putting glasses and a goatee onto it. This story is about that gorilla’s girlfriend.
Luckily for me, on the day of this story, that particular gorilla wasn’t in eyeshot, or earshot. Otherwise I would’ve handled the situation quite differently. As I was at the time, clearly less powerful than a gorilla. Also, the gorilla had friends who may jump in, if I fought back. The only of friends I had at the time would instantly pretend not to know me if I was being attacked by a gorilla, hippo, giraffe, dolphin, kitten, meercat, or anything for that matter.
At the time of writing, she is no longer going out with a gorilla, but instead a black belt in karate. Though that has nothing to do with anything, as there is no gorillas or karate in this story.
The story begins in a High School resource center.
There is a secluded part of the resource center once known as “The Quiet Reading Area”. Though, it is now known, as “The Out of Bounds Area” as it was impossible to see what students were doing down there from the library desk. Luckily for me, at the time of the story, it was the quiet reading area, otherwise the story may never have happened.
Now, I was sitting at a table in the quiet reading area with three girls. One of them was Diana, Diana being the gorilla’s girl. (I’m not telling you which Diana. I’m sure that since the release of this joke, every Diana in the world may start getting interesting looks.)
Behind Diana, there was a bookshelf. Behind the bookshelf, there was a wall. Within yelling distance, was a table with three or four guys my year level.
Diana was suffering from a cramped leg. It was the muscle above the knee. The muscle used for kicking people in the groin, as I understand it. Though I’m certain that there was some non-groin-kicking explanation for this cramp.
I forgot to mention, the quiet reading area was for people who were either quietly reading, pretending to be quietly reading, or had a book on the table they could pick up quickly if a teacher walks past.
To meet this requirement, Diana had to stand up, turn around, pick up a book, turn back around and sit back in her chair. A task Diana thought she was quite ready for, despite having a cramped leg. She thought wrong.
Instantly the remaining three of us got up, and crowded around Diana’s collapsed body. She was clearly in pain. I asked her where it hurt. She pointed to her groin kicking muscle.
Now I decided that the best action to take in this particular crisis. Was to rub her leg with my knuckles. (She was wearing jeans at the time.) I had no idea if it would work or not. I figured if it wasn’t working, I could just stop rubbing. Now being the only male there, I was the first person to completely analyze the problem, and apply an effective solution. Also, being the only male there, I was also the most eager to rub her leg. (Though in my defense, the girl who was once my girlfriend, but is now my friend who acts like a girlfriend has better legs. Anyway, she’s a longer story. At the time of the incident, I didn’t yet know her.) Anyway, this rubbing action involved the knuckles making it from the top of her leg, to the bottom of her leg, and back again, repeat.
So here I am, rubbing away, and Diana lets out a moan of relief. Somewhere between an “ah”, and an “oh”. If my memory serves me well, I think it was more on the “oh” side of the scale. Though, what ever it was, it sounded exactly like an orgasm.
I can’t remember exactly how loud that noise was, but the guys on the table in yelling range I told you about, heard it quite clearly. They all turned around to see what was going on. They saw me rubbing Diana’s leg with my knuckles. Though I was behind a table. So they didn’t know that it was Diana’s leg I was rubbing. Nor that I was using my knuckles. They just saw me making massive arm movements. Arm movements long enough for me to go from the knee to the top of the leg, and back again.
I tried to give them a “This isn’t what it looks like,” look, but I don’t think they knew the meaning that particular facial expression. Or maybe I just wasn’t doing the “This isn’t what it looks like,” look properly.
While I’m giving that look, Diana makes another orgasmic noise. Then in her orgasmic tone of voice, she says, “That feels good!” With a short pause on the word ‘good’.
I politely told her to be quiet. Then, in the same voice, she says, “But it feels so good!” Once again, with the pause on ‘good’.
I told her to be quiet again. At this point, some of the guys on the table were standing up, in an unsuccessful attempt to see what’s over the table. They wouldn’t have seen anything below my elbow. That’s for sure.
Okay, this is the moment where I did something stupid. Let’s just pause this story for a bit, and assess all my options at this particular moment.
Option A: Continue to rub Diana’s leg in clear view of everyone, despite clear risk of embarrassment, and possible gorilla beatings.
Option B: Explain the situation to the guys while continuing to rub Diana’s leg. Though, I was in the silent reading area. Thus yelling out to the guys would get me kicked out of the resource center, leaving Diana’s poor leg unattended.
Option C: Walk up to the guys and explain the situation, thus guaranteeing Diana’s leg to be left unattended.
Take a guess which option I picked. That’s right, Option D: Duck my head under the table, and pretend to be invisible. Thus looking like I’ve given my arms a break, and have started using my mouth.
When my services were no longer required, Diana rose from behind the table upon the arms of two other girls. Diana still couldn’t walk by herself.
I don’t know what impressed the guys on the nearby table more. The fact that the girl involved was Diana who was clearly too good for me, and even too good for them. Or the fact that after I had finished Diana was unable to walk.
The other two girls told Diana that they would take her to the student office. “You’re in Jon!” yelled the guys as I walked past them on the way out.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
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Gaspy Conana
Registered
12/10/2003
Points
571
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29th January, 2004 at 21:38:26 -
That story was the single most gigantic pile of crap on this side of the Mississippi.
http://www.digitalwasteland.net
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Hamish M
Registered
22/01/2004
Points
521
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29th January, 2004 at 21:41:07 -
Please sum this story up in one sentance or less
n/a
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Muggus
Possibly Insane 
Registered
31/07/2002
Points
2958
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29th January, 2004 at 21:52:57 -
About him looking like he was fingering a chick in library but actually massaging her leg cause she had a leg cramp...or something like that
Just one question Jon...
...what does this story have to do with anything?
MUGGUS
Come and annoy me more at
www.muggus69.tk
STOUT ANGER!!!
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Jon Chambers
Registered
25/08/2002
Points
1071
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29th January, 2004 at 22:03:16 -
It has nothing to do with anything, it's just a cool girl story. Chamzel asked for a girl story, and I gave him one. There's no moral or anything, it's just something that happened to me once.
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
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Jon Chambers
Registered
25/08/2002
Points
1071
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30th January, 2004 at 00:36:48 -
Thankyou Chicken
Copy this to your hard drive. It will be worth alot when I'm famous.
Notice: Spelling mistakes above left in for people who need to correct others to make their life fulfilled.
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